Departures

Life has the beautiful custom of facing us with all kinds of unexpected events, including its own end. Today we a friend of Trevor's over for lunch and the rest of the afternoon, because his mother had to attend a funeral, and when she came to pick him up we could not help but discussing the matter, which has profound implications.

The service was in memory of her boyfriend's mother, who was in her eighties and had been unwell for years, so her death did not come as a surprise, but it is still a shock. Most of us become mildly aware of death in the early childhood, but it can remain as a hazy idea foreshadowing our future for many years. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have a clear understanding of death, but not necessarily had the experience of an acquaintance passing away or, if so, it is regarded as an unusual and almost random event, linked either to accidents or inexplicable and unfair illnesses.

Photo: pixabay.com

Then we all reach a natural point in time when the generation of our parents start to die. It starts with the older brother of your mother, who was several years her senior, or an aunt twice removed, who had been sick with Alzheimer's for years. And these departures do not have the same taste of shock and unexpectedness as the other ones. You cannot justify your own outrage and shake your fist at destiny, because the deceased were already getting on in years, and it is just natural that some of them start to pass away. Without making much noise, this kind of events start growing in frequency, and weddings and baby showers get slowly replaced with funerals. But the lowest point comes when it is your father's or your mother's turn. Suddenly we reach the scary conclusion that we are next in line, probably no time soon, but our own generation is going to be the next one and, as a result of pure statistics, the first instances of "unsurprising deaths" are bound to happen any time now.

Our friend's boyfriend had a hard time coping with his mother's death, so we provided a friendly shoulder to help her unload a little bit. All our parents (hers, Karen's and mine) are still in good health, but we can feel the shadow approaching. Karen's mother used to visit us all the time, but we are not comfortable anymore with letting her travel alone that much at age 75, and my father also had a scare a couple of years back, but he luckily got out of it mostly unscathed.

I have to admit that, re-reading the post I might be giving the impression that I have been in a dark mood all day, but it has only been the last couple of hours and I am not even that gloomy. Today I had two video-conferences when finally some work was discussed and assigned, so I am quite happy with the progress there. Tomorrow I will not be able to attend the PhD group meeting, because we will have a virtual conference in the afternoon from Tuesday to Thursday for my day job, so I will try to compensate in the morning.

Stay healthy and I will talk to you tomorrow again.