My risk, your risk, her risk

Life is intrinsically risky. So much so that all of us end up dying sooner or later. But it is an implicit assumption that most of do not engage in overly risky behavior, so that the expectation to see our family, our friends, our colleagues, in the near future is well founded. That is the reason why the death of an acquaintance at age 35 of a heart attack is so much more shocking that a similar event in someone who is 75 years old. Young people are not supposed to die from disease like that.

Accidents are another source of fateful grievances: my grandfather used to say that you can be hit by a roof tile and die on the spot any day. He was hit once and luckily he survived (otherwise there would be no story, nor anyone telling it), but a lot of people die in true accidents every day and, in spite of their tragic nature, we have learnt to live with it. But bear in mind that I speak of situations where the overwhelming majority of times things go well: one would does not expect to be run over by a car on a pedestrian crossing, so you do it confidently after exercising due diligence. A completely different matter is engaging in risky behavior.

Photo: PxHere

Yesterday evening, as it has become customary since the beginning of the lock-down, I had the weekly video conference with my mother and two brothers. Three quarters into the hour that we usually devote to catching up with each others' lives, my mother mentioned that she objected to the obligation of wearing a face mask outside or in well ventilated spaces, and that enraged David because that we engaging in dangerous behavior.

My mother has always been known for dictating her own rules, which always bore only limited resemblance to the conventional ones. And for many years we had not choice but to put up with it until we managed to figure out the arguments to coerce her out of that behavior. For many years she did not wear a safety belt in the car under the argument that the risk of spleen rupture on a small crash with the belt on was as high as the risk of brain injury without. Eventually, we pointed out that not wearing a belt meant that she could be ejected from the car in certain type of accidents and hit someone else or a passerby, and that convinced her that she shour not risk harming others for her own benefit.

Now the argument is that she falls ill with the COVID it would be grueling for all of us and that the worry of knowing that she is running around without sufficient protection would be virtually incapacitating for David (yes, he is a bit intense). Is this argument well founded? Probably not. Should she heed our worries? Probably yes. However, in the same way that children are not property of the parents, neither it is the other way around and the parents are not forced to comply with their children's requests even if they are reasonable.

Hopefully my mother will come to her senses soon and stop exposing herself to unnecessary risks. I know (and hopefully so does she) that I would not be in a position to help her recover is she falls sick. Let us seek what the future brings. Have a nice evening.