Dredging the past

It should not have surprised me anymore, but every time I go on vacation, and in spite of my best effort, I find myself absolutely unable to sit down and keep writing my blog with any regularity. I have been away for two weeks and, in all that time, just one day I managed to draft an entry but did not manage to polish it to a readable level. Of course, there are plenty of reasons from this phenomenon, from the busy schedule, that does not allow for much "empty" time, to the different environment, where it might be difficult to find a quiet spot for creativity to come to fruition in with a modicum of calm.

However, this trip just had to happen, because we had not seen neither Karen's family nor my mother in two years. Last time we met was back in 2019 when "corona virus" was a completely unknown term for most of us and the world was still a place where travel was considered a normal way of spending you free time. A lot has happened in the intervening months, but there was no doubt that we should take the chance and pay them a visit even if we have frequently seen of one another over video conference.

Photo Gene Wilburn

In the end we decided that it would be more convenient if Karen and the boys would stay at her mother's for the whole length of our visit and I just drove the four hours to see my mother for a few days. This is a visit which was also long overdue, not so much because of her but because of me. I had not spent any significant amount of time in my home town for close to 20 years and the pandemic has somehow awaken my need to revisit the places where I grew up, the streets and parks that I used to know.

Luckily, even if my parents divorced many years ago none of them has moved out of town, so I also had a chance to take a walk on those same streets with my father and revisit the sites of my childhood. Twenty (or more) years is a very long time, so even if the overall structure of the city was indisputably the same, many things have changed. Some old buildings have been demolished and replaced by "brand new" ones (as "new" as 15 years old), and stores that I used to visit are not there anymore either: one bookstore that was the best one to get your orders really fast (way before Amazon even existed) has been transformed into a café; the place where I bought my first vinyl records is now a bank; pubs and bars with a very long tradition in town do not exist anymore, although I did not bother to ask my father if he knew what had brought them down, because there are just so many.

With my mother I also spent a lot of time talking about the past, school mates and teachers, some of which I have either kept track of or found again with the excuse of the lock-down, but there were a few points that are worth mentioning. On one sunny afternoon we dared to take a plunge in the ocean and at 15 C the initial impression was absolutely frigid but that soon wore out and, by the time we got out of the water, I was not even cold anymore. Indeed we only got out because the wind had picked up a bit and the water had become a bit choppy and uncomfortable to swim in, not because we were getting cold.

The second high point actually lasted for the whole four days that I was visiting, because my mother gave me almost a gastronomic tour of town, treating me to the specialty of each restaurant, to the point that I ended up with some level of stomach fatigue, where I had a hard time to keep eating. But it was indeed great to have a chance to eat so much fresh fish, because back home it is really hard to find, even in this time and age of overnight transcontinental deliveries.

The third remarkable moment was a walk we took in the woods on the Sunday afternoon. After yet another glorious lunch with bean stew and free-range chicken in a rural restaurant we were so full that we decided to go for a walk before returning to the civilization. Back in my day I used to spent many Sundays walking in the woods or trekking up and down the mountains, but it had been years since I took the last serious walk. In this occasion, the road was quite steep uphill, which was tiring but bearable, but the way back with the constant tension on the thighs was quite an effort.

The final highlight was setting up a printer for her, because she had recently told me about her comings and goings trying to print a payment slip and how many times she had been forced to drive between the bank, her home and her office, just because she did not have a printer at home. I had not given her any gifts neither for her birthday nor for Christmas in many years, so it just seemed nice to have such a detail with her. In fact, the best was the combination of informed search (I carefully selected a model that would fit her needs) and then the dedicated setup at home so that she would be able to operate it reliably. I am happy to report that all ended up to her liking, so hopefully she will not face a similar situation in the near future.

I do not know exactly what I was expecting to find when I headed back to my home town for a few days, but what I found is that in my memories it all seemed bigger (I was probably just shorter), but otherwise the city was the same. I do not know what will happen in the end, but I have to admit that Karen and I have been thinking of "coming back", moving closer to our parents, which are starting to get on years. One of the most heartbreaking experiences was, back with Karen and the kids, when we met her nephews and nieces. They are used to play together on a regular basis and, even if they are notably younger than Trevor and Jason, they took them up and managed to spend a nice afternoon together. I cannot help but wonder if my career at this point is worth all the "family time" that they are not getting. But for now I will just have to keep thinking until we all find an answer together. Have a nice week.