Unwarranted reliance

It goes often unacknowledged, but we really rely a lot on our memory. In fact we often rely on our memory even in situations where it is not the best option because our memory is unreliable or it just does not apply. However, the fact is that we cannot help it and we end up misguided by a feeling of memory which is familiar but simply not true. And, most surprisingly, we fall for it time and time again, with very little that we can do about it other than making ourselves aware of the situation in the (probably pointless) hope that we will be able to avoid it next time.

Today I have had a most excruciating experience and the funny aspect of it is that it was totally self-inflicted. It all arose from the idea that, to save driving time to the pharmacy I could go shopping to another store of the same supermarket chain where we normally buy our groceries, because there is a pharmacy next door. The hope was, of course, that being essentially the same shop it would not be too much trouble. How wrong I was!

Photo: Frerk Meyer

Walking into the store, the feeling was very familiar: the same signage, the same kind of racks, the same baskets in the produce section... But that is where the similarities ended. To start with, the dairy fridges were surprisingly close to the entrance, then the layout of the aisles was perpendicular to the orientation I am used to and, looking in some more detail, it quickly became apparent that the assortment was substantially different: there is no doubt that they must have had some things which are not in my usual store, but what really threw me off were the products that should have been there, but weren't. Besides, my memory it is not that precise as to say "x should be right next to y", but it kept sending me messages that the product I was looking for should have been "somewhere around here" (even if I had no past experience that it should be the case).

If that was not confusing enough, I happened to be looking for some unusual pre-Christmas items, like cookies and chocolate figures, ta which I had no information at all as to where in the store they might be located. Round and round I went with very little success, wondering if I was losing my mind, while my patient kept growing thinner and thinner, but I could not just take off because Karen had given be a clear shopping list that I had to provide.

However the ultimate source of discomfort was yet another self-inflicted circumstance: every year I have the custom of letting my beard grow in the winter, because it provides some level of protection against the weather outside. I do not have a precise schedule (and last year I did not do it at all) but this time it somehow felt important to keep the traditions, so about two weeks ago I stopped shaving. It is a well-known fact that there is a critical beard length at which it becomes extremely itchy, before it gets better again and you do not think about it anymore. And yes, you guessed it, I was precisely at that length which, combined with the recommendation to wear a mask inside the store, made for a very uncomfortable feeling.

In the end, the only workable solution was to pay whatever items I had managed to find, admit my defeat and drive for a second shopping run at our usual store. My acceptance was immediately rewarded with very clear and unmistakable memories of where zone of the missing items could be found, while the usual ones could easily be discussed with one of the attendants. Besides, the driving time from one locale to the other gave my beard time to cool off so I was even feeling better physically. I did not manage to buy every single item in the least, but I did a decent job and I was quite relieved to have finished the errand that I did not mind having to relay the bad news to Karen.

If there is a lesson to be learnt from this episode, it is an ancient one: "know thyself". I was, yet again, overconfident and lite took the chance to give me a lesson in humility. I am certain that it will not be the last one, but I will try to keep it in my mind so as to limit the number of painful reckonings. Do you have any similar stories that you care to share? Have a nice evening.